Warning: Contains Ugly Shoes

Monday, 25 June 2012



ASOS is not a website that I stalk religiously.  In fact, I don't often go on it at all because I'll only end up spending money.  I only really venture over there when people send me tempting links (Twitter is bad for this, very bad) and during the sales, which are gooooooood.

So today I spent my morning tea break idly browsing the shoes and wondering if I actually need a pair of gingerbread men pattern shoes, or whether they're just so flipping cute I am in mad want of them.  I'm still pondering that one.  I got totally distracted by a little game I like to call Hideous Shoe Hunt.  Oh boy, ASOS know how to pick 'em!

Cos I'm a generous soul, I then spent my lunch break picking out the worst offenders to share with you.

Those of a nervous disposition may wish to scroll down to the bottom of the post now...

Cheaper (and probably more stylish) to just strap a box to the bottom of your shoes than buy these, no?

Sorry, don't care if these are Alexander McQueen.  You would have to pay me the £265 to wear them. I loathe and detest those tread soles.

So much wrong with these I don't really know where to start.

Does any shoe really need a high-rise with leather uppers and a Liberty floral print and cut-out inserts to the sides and a rolled cuff and an elastic lace closure to the reverse and an open heel design and peep toe styling and a slim sole and a high, plexy heel (which frankly, always remind me of stripper shoes)?

Make it stop. Please.

I think these might be the most awful things I've ever seen.

I may have to stop now before I'm sick.  The fringed monstrosity above has had a bad effect on me.

On a positive note, there are some lovely things on there too. Want to see the gingerbread shoes?  Course you do!

I still haven't made my mind up about them.  Am I being distracted by their cuteness?

These are also v. sweet.

And I'm seriously considering these, floral and daft as they may be.

24 comments:

  1. I'm afraid I love wedges no matter what. I would definitely wear the black ones you loathe!

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  2. The fringing! Oh god, the fringing!

    xx

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  3. Thankyou for posting the gingerbread shoes - my eyes needed cheering up after a few of those! The ones at the bottom are definitely the worst...I don't understand them, at all...whyy?!?! x

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  4. Haha i love this, how refreshing to see some truly ugly shoes rather than a load of beautiful ones that leave me feeling depressed and poor. Particularly enjoying the pink and white things, 3 horrendous shoes rolled into one lol xxx

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  5. Green and white things. Obviously.

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  6. Haha, I love this! The gingerbread shoes are gorgeous, but all the ugly shoes you picked are seriously horrendous, especially the plex heel and scalloped sole ones, bleurgh! XO.

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  7. I think the second to last nasty ones are actually quite nice, but yes, otherwise, ASOS really do know how to pick ugly damn shoes!

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  8. I just lost my tea outta my nose.

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  9. You need the ginger bread men shoes. The fringing no one needs. Ever.
    Great post - made me chuckle!

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  10. I was waiting for the shoes with Keep Calm on!

    Well done Alex, that's a good effort.

    Caroline
    xxx

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  11. Eurgh, there are many minging shoes on ASOS! Most of the time I detest their shoes but there are some gorgeous ones! WHY did you have to show me those gingerbread ones- WHY?! Now I really want them and if that's not bad enough, there are NO SIZE 8's left!!!!!!! You tempter you!!!

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  12. Haha I love this post, I'm glad I'm not the only one that sees shoes like this and thinks who buys these!

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  13. Good lord those are some hideous shoes. Why would anyone put these anywhere near their feet?! The brogues are super sweet though! Xo

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  14. Eek! Yeah those floral print cut out tie up perspex heel numbers are truly awful... Loving the gingerbreads tho! Not convinced by floral boots, they seem a bit fussy for me... :)

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  15. Ewwww, nasty shoes. I have to say I quite like the Alexander McQueen ones I wxould swap them for the bottom floral bootee things, yuk! x

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  16. Hahahaha! Those floral cut-out etc etc shoes are truly awful! Who in their right mind would wear them?! I'm glad someone else plays the "find the most hideous .... " game, although I tend to do it with dresses on Topshop's website. My friend and I send each other links trying to out do each other.

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  17. Well, at least the gingerbread shoes look wearable! :) (Ooops, showing my age!)

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  18. The only ones I really wouldn't wear there are those fringed flatforms. They look like Dougal from the Magic Roundabout.

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  19. Some seriously bad offenders here! Who buys these shoes??? xxx

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  20. Oh jeesh there are some ugly shoes! I think you should definitely get those printed boots though, they're lovely!

    Maria xxx

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  21. oh wow, there are some corkers there! The last fringed monstrosities are literally the ugliest shoes I have ever seen! Top marks for entertainment on this post though =)
    xx

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  22. Some real horrors there. Liking the gingerbread shoes though.

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  23. Haha, brilliant idea for a post! Looks like the size 8 shelf in TK Maxx :( xx

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  24. I was giggling at the stringed uglies the other day too!!

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